It wasn't until I had begun high school that I first started dating. My first boyfriend lasted a total of two years. It wasn't until the second year that things had started to get very manipulative and controlling. Towards the end of the relationship, things started to get very abusive—both mentally and physically. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, I knew that. Yet, instead of opening up to someone about what was happening, I held it all in. During this time, I became clinically depressed which not only affected my mental health but also my relationship with my friends and family as well as my academic grades. I started separating myself from a lot of people in my life who I was once very close to. It wasn’t until my junior year, that the individual ended up transferring schools and was no longer in my life anymore.
Although it had been a rough couple of years, the worst part about the entire situation came after because although it had ended, I felt as though it had been my fault for not mentioning what was happening to anyone sooner. It wasn't until I opened up about what had happened that I started getting better. The first person who helped me through this was my best friend and from then on, everything started falling into place. I began focusing on different ways to express myself. Through sketching and photography, I was able to work through a lot of emotions on my own. Senior year was my favorite year of high school because I started to feel like myself again. I had gotten accepted into college, won scholarships for art and academics, received my EMT license, went on road trips with my best friends, as well as found out I had gotten a double in the dorm closest to the center of campus for my first year of college which not many at Cal Poly can say.
Whereas I posted some of my accomplishments such as getting into Cal Poly on social media, I felt as though I could not post what I had gone through while I was struggling to get the good grades that had gotten me my acceptance into college. You see, although social media is supposed to be used as a forum to keep in contact with friends and to keep them updated, it is mostly used to only show the good things. I believe that it isn’t as socially acceptable to post about the struggles that you are having in life at the moment because it can act as an inconvenience for others. Maybe some wouldn’t know how to respond and therefore it would make them feel uncomfortable. Though I never posted about what I had gone through, I believe that the overall effect would be a shock to many. People would be supportive; however, I do not believe that they would have viewed me in the same light as before.
The reason for why I am sharing this is so that others know how much of a positive impact on one’s mental health telling at least tell one individual of what you are currently going through has. Without telling someone, I wouldn’t have realized all that this experience has taught me and all that girls, such as me, can handle.